Are you the One?

That, according to www.bookofodds.com is the chance an adult will keep a New Year’s Resolution within a month. Whether you call it a resolution, an intention or a promise to yourself, chances are something is wavering at this point.

Now is a great time to stop and look at why. Did you want to make too many changes at once? Did it require a huge effort or small sustainable steps? Did you have a plan in place or are you winging it? Was it a “should” rather than a genuine desire?

I was going to write more, a goal I set back a few months ago. Even though my brain is bursting with ideas, it seemed that the minute I sat in front of the screen, I was just as blank as it. I got a new computer which gave me the excuse that I was getting used to a new keyboard but here I am typing without looking and typing capitals without hitting two lines of back slashes! The back slashes were a source of annoyance for about two weeks! No more reasons and certainly no room for excuses.

I’ve scheduled most of what I want into my schedule, this has been the last hold out. That item, that is continually at the bottom of the list. I want to say this is the end to it but I’ll be forgiving of myself if I slip a little in finding the right rhythm. I’ve just made myself a little more accountable by finally getting this out there.

How about you, are you moving full steam ahead or still simmering a little? If you have fallen off the path, take heart I’ve know any day is a good day to start working on a goal.

If you need a little more accountability, that’s what I do. I’m the GPS when you take an unplanned turn. There are 11 months and a few days left this year. What do you want to do with them? If you are leaning towards that one, it is not too late to change the odds!

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The Beauty of Self-Esteem

The Beauty of Self-Esteem

Beauty products and I have had a love-hate relationship over the years. I’ve gone through stages where I had to have the latest and greatest new products to pairing down to the minimal or even out and out rejecting the whole shebang!

A couple of years ago, I took a look in the mirror and the woman staring back had this greyish dull face. It was time for a little action. My dear friend, Sherri, a Director with BeautiControl had never pushed me to purchase a single item over the years of our friendship. I bought items and she let me sample many but I was never one of her most dedicated skin care clients until the dawning of the dull-skinned woman.

The change was so profound, I convince other friends to try it but it never occurred to me that I would actually promote and represent these products. I became a consultant to save money at first and I decide to make this part of my business to make a little money and share the spa and self-care with women, combining coaching on that subject with the products to follow through.

It still took me awhile to really equate all of the products with self-care; spa to relax and take time, skin care to put your best face confidently forward and cosmetics for those who want to enhance and highlight their best features. Any or all of this can contribute to ones self-esteem. As coaches we work with people to do what makes them happy. Happy people are confident, look younger etc. If that was the right fit for everyone that would be great. Let’s face it –no pun intended – some of us just have to start on the outside first. If you have ever watched What Not to Wear, they do just that by starting with the outside. Time after time you see a woman who believes she is the definition of confidence substituting a rebellious; “I am so confident I don’t give a damn” attitude for true confidence. The women are never told they need to lose weight or have plastic surgery but just to play up their best features and see their own beauty shine through. In the end, most of these women make more comments about the positive change in attitude and their inner confidence over change of wardrobe or looks. All the makeover becomes, is a catalyst to remind them of their own worth and how to nurture it inside and out.

Start where it easiest. Just start. If your skin looks better in a few days, if you get compliments that your eyes stand out because of the shade of lipstick so be it. If you are ready to dig deeper and do the work start there. Building your self-esteem is a process and even the most confident women have insecure moments but knowing who you are goes hand in hand with feeling it and looking it. So, whatever it takes to feel it for you is just right. That’s beautiful.

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Small Measures

It has been about 6 months since I started working out with Maryse Senecal, www.MyoPrecision.com as my trainer.  That is 3 months longer than I have lasted anywhere else, in any program or used a membership in my entire adult life.  Sad, I know.

When I started I said I would blog about it, but promised Maryse I would not focus on the numbers, inches, pounds etc.  It is a good thing too because I forgot to take any measurements when I began and the fact is the number on the scale is not impressive on its own merit.

However, there are many, many measurements that are much more significant to me.  They are a little embarrassing to admit at times but if this makes a difference to one other person it will be worth it.  When I notice them, it is huge to me because I was just used to compensating in my own way and never felt terribly restricted.

Here are just a few accomplishments so far:

  • I’ve stopped needing a nap at about 2 o’clock everyday.
  • I have changed 2 clothes sizes.At the big box malls, I actually walk from store to store rather than move my car.
  • Just this morning someone remarked on my cheek bones, and my dimple on my real chin has reappeared as the extra chins have disappeared.
  • I can put on sock, pants etc. by actually lifting my leg and maintaining my balance. (I haven’t tried the SpanxTM or pantyhose thing just yet but I believe I can!)
  • While getting up and down from the floor isn’t pretty, it is easier; I don’t have to hang on to anything.
  • The ice on the street doesn’t terrify me in the same way because I have better balance. (I am still cautious.)
  • I can see some muscles in my arms and my legs, stomach, hip and thighs are changed in shape. Because of that, my clothes sometimes look “funny” to me because they hang so differently. It is a good thing!

I wasn’t prompted to make these changes due to a health crisis, I didn’t have a special event or big birthday in mind – lord knows I’ve missed the boat time after time.  I did have pain in one knee and was really conscious of how little flexibility and balance I had.  That’s what made me show up.  Those little changes that are happening are what keep me going.

That and the other morning when my spouse and I were having a “spirited” discussion, I could hardly keep a straight face as I told him, he could “kiss my getting skinnier ass!”

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Life Coaching 1- 2 -3: Making it Work

Like many solo entrepreneurs I wear more than one hat and like everyone, I have to find a way to make my work balance with my personal life. It is all about choices and a little time management.

Allow me to share what is happening under the umbrella of Just Love Your Life Now and offer you a few tips to balance your life whether you have your own business or just a hectic work/life schedule.

1. Just Love Your Life Now is my own coaching business. I offer one-one coaching, keynote speaking and workshop facilitation for both men and women. My clients have included professionals in real estate, lawyers and other small business owners. I have worked with stay at home moms who are freelancers as well as people in the early stages of starting their own business or seeking more suitable employment. I have supported clients through life altering decisions and work groups to communicate better. While I encourage clients to lighten up, this can be the most “serious” side of my business. I love being part of someone’s progress and change. You can explore whether we are a good fit by calling me to book a complimentary consultation.

2. Unwinding Women is the collaboration of, Catherine Corey, Kim McLeod and me. We are passionate about helping women to lead less stressful lives while embracing all the roles they fulfill today. We have our monthly meeting: Women, Whine & Chocolate which is meant to bring women of all ages and stages together socially. We add in the twist of a mini interactive workshop, designed to make you think about what small action steps you can put into place right away. It has been described as illuminating, lots of fun and one participant pointed out a great way to experience the different view points of the leaders and the attendees. Our next two dates, November 26th and December 17th are at the Riverside location. In the New Year we will be offering a new location TBA. February is a special event Madly in Love with Me. Keep Tuesday, Feb 16th open as we offer a special evening to make you your own best Valentine. More details at www.unwindingwomen.com Book in advance for the next Women, Whine and Chocolate and pay only $15.75. Save by prepaying for 3, 6 month or a full year.

3. Newest to the mix but not new to me, is the Total Spa Escape with BeautiControl. I have been a fan and customer of BeautiControl products for more than 15 years. Over a year ago, I became a “friends and family” consultant primarily purchasing products for myself, my mother and occasionally a couple of friends. This fall, I realized how much it fit in with the message I have for women about self-care and connection so I decided to take it to another level and combine my love of the product and love of working with stressed out women to offer complimentary spas in their homes or offices. Creating a calm oasis in the middle of a hectic week, month or life in general for Ottawa women is rewarding in so many ways. I get to apply my coaching skills to training and working with my own business team. If you would like to be part of that team or would like to book me to come to your home or office to help your friends relax and feel pampered, call or e-mail me. You can see more info about BeautiControl at www.beautipage.ca/joanj.

How do I balance it all? 5 Ways I have most of it! (I believe you can have it all, just not all at the same time!)

1. I choose the blocks I will work on each part of my business each week.
2. I organize my tasks in groups that can be finished within the time allowed or reasonably broken up so I don’t spend each time I move into a different block trying to figure out where I left off.
3. I keep files for each business separate so I can close one and put it away before opening the next.
4. I book my free time for things I want to do and some overflow time because life happens and things may have to be rearranged. I leave that time so things don’t get dropped.
5. I’m serious about being good at what I do but I do not take myself too seriously! I like to make things fun. I can roll with the punches and I do take responsibility for my choices.

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Habits and Choices

It is incredible how much we can get into a habit.  It is a story we tell ourselves about what we can or cannot do.  First, let me say, I hate going down to my unfinished basement so for starters I avoid it just on that theory.  Also, a few years back I injured my knee, stepping or miss stepping into my garage with a suitcase in hand.  I completely missed a step.  So from time to time my knee would bother me especially on stairs.  The result was I would avoid them where possible, or walk leading with one leg to compensate for the pain.

As I have been working out lately my knees have been getting stronger but I realized I still favour one over the other, out of habit.  I was working on something the other day that required some supplies I store in the basement.  I hate to admit it but my first thought was to wait until I could send one of the kids down.  I stopped in my tracks, remembering that my knees were feeling great, my stamina is up and I can easily handle a few trips up and down the stairs and I can walk normally one foot after the other rather than a modified limp.  I just had to make the choice to override the habit.  Every time I hesitate to do something physical, I have to stop and remind myself I can do it and I need to make a different choice.   It is time to say good bye to a life time of limiting habits and time to embrace new choices.  As always, it is a work in progress!

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Scents and Sense-ability

Years ago I made my husband bring me a very expensive bottle of perfume from a business trip to Paris.  Although it was a business for him, I was ticked that he didn’t bring me along.  He mentioned something about our budget etc.   I am all about, (ok, mostly about) fiscal responsibility but sometimes you just have to go with what is presented in front of you.  It wasn’t going to put us out on the street.  He was not to be convinced.  Given what our family was going through at the time, he probably welcomed a getaway.  Nevertheless, I requested the perfume and got it.

What I neglected to consider was that I don’t really wear perfume much because it is too strong and I don’t wear it when I am working from home.  So the bottle sat, looking pretty on my bureau, in the bright sunlight, gathering dust, being saved for special occasions (which are few and far between.)  Needless to say, it lost its fragrance and was a huge waste of money.

Two things happened.  First I wanted it for all the wrong reasons.  I felt I deserved something.    It didn’t fit my lifestyle and how I live my life.   Second, I committed a classical mistake.  It was too good for everyday and therefore I almost never used it.  I was saving it instead of seeing myself worthy of French perfume every single day no matter what.  I wrapped my self-worth in a pretty perfume bottle, defiantly trying to prove my self-worth to my spouse and yet not allowing it for myself.  Ouch.

The good news is things have changed.  I sought help in many ways to increase my own self-esteem.     Once I found it in myself, I began to share it with other women, which lead to pursuing coaching courses and ultimately my coaching career.  I love to help others build their self-esteem and self-worth, finding a place for self-care in their lives.

For years now part of my self-care routine, has included allowing myself spa quality products at prices that bring the spa home.  It is a great way to feel taken care of on a daily basis not just a once a month or maybe less treat.  If you are one soap fits all, not in the budget or saving it for special occasions, kind of person, think about what little changes you can make to fit in a little “feeling worth it.”

How many other things in your life are for “special occasions” only?  How much of what you do for yourself is just good enough or only ok?  A little extra can go a long way.

There are so many choices out there.  Find what works for you.

I also offer great scented self-care products for my clients so if you want more information contact me.  If you would like to host an “Aha” Spa with your girlfriends, contact me. Enjoy a little coaching on finding more time, more energy or more self-worth for you and your friends while enjoying some in home spa treatments.  It’s a fun way to make self-care a part of your life.

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Eating Challenges

The next step in my self-care regime is to make a true effort to eat better. It is a no brainer to know you should avoid excessively sugary, fat laden, over salted food. Most adults can easily rhyme off a list of what not to eat. We all know more eat more veggies, get your fiber, watch the fat, and don’t eat sugar rules.

Where I have run into the biggest challenge in my life time of being “good or bad”, is that Maryse has educated me in the need to eat five meals and more calories! These instructions, totally contradict the rules of all the years of yo-yo dieting. You know those rules; eat less, cut back, avoid carbs, don’t snack yadda, yadda, yadda. If you look at some of the most popular diet books the calorie intake for everyone on it is in the 1200-1500 range. At my current weight, I am eating a whole lot more than that. The key is also in the choice of foods. I aim for almost no sugar and low salt. The fats are the healthiest kind.

It has been really hard to change that thinking. My overall goal is to be healthier with weight loss as the side effect but still those years of conditioning has been making it difficult to believe I can eat reasonably, eat frequently and still lose and yet I have. I know I have by the fit of my clothes. I have already discarded a few items that are just too big.

Some days I only manage four meals. I still indulge from time to time in a little of my favourite things. All in all, I feel like I have made a great start.

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The Good and the Bad is Just Plain Ugly.

A few years back, I belonged to yet another weight loss support group. I use the term very loosely with this group because in actual fact, it was a pretty social group of ladies who supported each other equally well through loss or gain, the net result at the end of the year was most people had not budged on their goals. You really had to want to. They were the queens of excuses and the queens of denial.

It took me a few months of yo-yo ing right along with them to take myself seriously. One of the things they loved to do was show up to the 7 PM meeting having not eaten (hoping for a better result on the scale) and then go out to eat right after the meeting. I was invited on many occasions but finally one summer evening I decided to join them. Now I have seen many women including myself play the “I’m being good today or I’m being bad” game on many occasions but I think this night was that pivotal point for me.

As I mentioned I had been invited many times but I had not gone for a variety of reasons but mostly because I had finished eating for the day by the meeting time. This particular evening I planned my meals for the day to allow for the dinner out. At the restaurant I order my favourite menu item, a chicken, walnut, peach salad with poppy seed dressing. I like it so much I have figured out how to make it at home. I no sooner ordered it when I got the derisive comments of “oh you are being good tonight”. The others were busily ordering club sandwiches or hamburgers and fries and I had broken the unwritten rule of: we are here to “cheat” together. We have all been in that situation. “I’ll have dessert, if you are.” “Oh, I shouldn’t” or “don’t tell my husband”.

You have heard the expression “If it is to be, it is up to me.”? It is not about the one dessert, the one burger, the one fries. It is about what you do around it and how you feel about yourself in relation to it. In my current process, I still have a drink or two about once a week, a dessert once in awhile and I confess the kisses I buy to promote Women, Whine and Chocolate occasionally fall on my desk. I just don’t give up until tomorrow or next Monday. I simply eat better at the next meal and the one after it etc. The cravings are mostly gone so it is about choice. I choose to enjoy life, I choose what that means.

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Challenges

I have never been good at keeping a journal or even a diary when I was young but yet here I am with a newsletter and a blog. When I started my newsletter several years ago I thought I would do a short one, weekly. When that didn’t quite work out, I thought I’d try every two weeks. Nope. I tried splitting the info from the events but even though I explained it was to shorten the length, people inevitably either unsubscribed or sent me rather terse requests to be removed. Back to the mixed format only once a month, minimum, no fixed date. Ironically, I tend to write it around the same date every month, but without the looming deadline or pressure. If it is a day here or there doesn’t matter. My ego knows many of you really enjoy it (you tell me so) but I also know, no one is hanging around their cyber mailbox anxiously awaiting my latest comments. It is a happy relationship for me.

A blog? Well, here I am feeling that same challenge. Let me assure you, I have tons of things to say in the wee hours of the night, while I am driving and even in the shower but nothing can empty the brain faster than a blank screen or piece of paper! Successful writers will tell you to just write. I realized if it is to be I have to seize the pen or at least the computer and just get on with it! The universe always provides. In this case, www.ezinearticles.com has issued a challenge to their contributors to submit 100 articles in 100 days. I have decided to commit to the challenge, knowing it will also add to my blog and newsletter. I started Saturday by updating a few previously written newsletter articles but the real challenge is around the corner. I hope you will come along for the ride. I’m up for the challenge.

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Number One On My Own List

I am pretty good about keeping my own stress levels in check.  As a coach who really focuses on self-care with individuals, I try to walk my talk.  Like most people I am better a somethings than others.

On my life journey, which I will share over the next while, the one area I have never gotten a long term handle on is my weight.  I have been overweight all my life. While for many years it did chip at my self-esteem, that is not the case now.  A few years back I lost around 75 lbs and have kept most of it off until menopause showed up.  The menopause fairy dropped off a spare tire one day that sat where I used to actually have a waist.  (No matter what size I was I always had a waist line.)  It just didn’t want to go away no matter what.   I know how to diet. I know every diet!  Heck, if I just walked around with a backpack filled with the books I own, I’d be in great shape!

Exercise is another story.  Oh, I can stick to it for months but I never learn to love it so the slightest interuption in life and whoosh…..to the bottom of the list it goes.  For every annual gym membership I have ever bought, I represent 6-8 months of pure donation!  Striking a chord?

Never one to give up, I decided to put my future health at the top of the list.  I say future because despite the judgement of many who don’t know me, my blood pressure is normal, in an ordinary day I only get winded wrestling with a pair of Spanx,  I eat healthier than most and enjoy a great quality of life!  While getting up and down on the floor may not be pretty I am pretty energetic for my age and size!

What changed is the half inch of height I have lossed and feeling less strong.  With the help of a Naturopath, I tweaked my diet a little a few months ago, watching more carefully for hidden sugar, cutting back on dairy.  These are two food groups I have sensitivities to but not out and out allergies so it is easy to slip them back in little by little.  Making a couple of changes and the tire is disappearing.

That’s all well and good but what has been sitting at the back of my mind, is the woman I saw on a news programme one evening.  She was well into her seventies maybe even her early eighties and she had been weight training for just a couple of years.  She wasn’t all taut, ready for a bikini but you could see the muscles definition under the “wings” most of us develop under our arms.  I remember thinking it is never too late.

So it is not too late but it is time to get on with it.  With that in mind I have hired, Maryse Senecal, from Myo-precision.com to be my trainer.

I’ll share my ups and downs, wins and frustrations as I go down this personal road.  This is not going to be about the numbers of pounds, inches, or the dress size but the  journey of getting fit.

Trust me, if you have had to sit in an ER for any amount of time as I did lately, you’ll want to get as healthy as possible.  My goal is to be real and if you are struggling perhaps you will feel encouraged or inspired.

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